Don't quit

Past month had been an important month for me. My efforts had a vision to achieve something impossible. This would inshallah be the turning point of my life.
It is always said, big things never come in small packages, yes, but this big package would always contains numerous surprises of difficulties to overcome. This was evident from the fact that every step I took was challenged, opposed & demoralised.
It was a point when I had to meet big 'Heads' of organization and explain to them each of my aim and accomplishment. These 'Heads' whoses names were enough to shake someones body. And here I am into their cabins to achieve the impossible.
There were few occassions when all seemed gone. Headaches and feverish feelings embedded into my soul and the tension which never wished to leave me.
Then God sent two invisible messengers into my life. One of them said:
C: Now, let me say something which u will not like.........assume that u will not get it...and then live ur life......if u get, that will be an addition in the happiness.... until and unless u adopt this mindset, u will always be tension for one thing or the other.

start enjoying each moment of success...
me: u r teaching me, self control...
C: Start living small moments of ur life, once everything u will have, u will have something else to get tensed, so, there is not end to it
me: no I said that becoz it is difficult for such things
C: STOP LIVING CONDITIONAL LIFE....if this happens, I will be happy, if it doesnt happen, i will not be happy...how long u will live such life....change ur perception of life...i know that u have a very difficult life, but at the same time, I know that as long as u keep urself composed, any difficulty will go....
me: yes, i will try
C: tensions shake ur confidence and once u start feeling lack of confidence, u start losing every thing in life... I know that u r very strong, keep my faith alive....
me: ok
C: Just keep working hard, ur share of happiness will come to u....
take care... and .. smile please....

Honestly these simple lines worked for me.
And the second messenger was truly awesome, it helped me by leaps and bounds... & it goes like this:
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won, had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.

The path to excellence is difficult, its like walking over a razor's edge. But I know a person who seeks "Don't ever quit" ..... having a grit of a lion will win !

yes, today I am walking into a tunnel... its dark here right now but yes I can see the light at its end.... I am still very far from it... but I am walking... slowly.... slowly.... towards it...
They defined this light as 'SUCCESS'.
And let me tell you, I am not going to quit....... I promise!

Fuzon- Mora saiya mo se bole na

"Mora saiya mo se bole na"

"sawan beeto jaaye beharwa"

"mann mera ghabraye"

"aeso gaye pardesh piya tum"

"chain humein nahin aaye"

"mora saiyan mose bole na"

"main laakh jatan kar haari"

"tu jo nahin to aise piya hum"

"jaise suna angana"

"nain tehari rah nihare"

"nainan ko tarsao na"

"pyaar tumhein kitna karte hain"

"tum ye samajh nahin paaye"

"jab hum na honge to beharwa"

"bolo kya tab aaoge"

"mora saiyan.."

Watch the video here

This is one of my favourite song from Fuzon (a pakistani band). So melodious that my heart beats with the song.

Watch Amanat Ali singing same "Mora saiyain" at SaReGaMaPa here

It was sad and foolish for Abhijeet (singer) to comment that 10% of their work goes to Pakistani singers. Being a judge at a reality show, he rejects to give marks to Pakistani contestant for it.
Music does not need bordaries. Music comes from heart & soul and it touches another heart & soul, just like this song.
And a melidious music is poured from a humble heart...

Hope we listen to few more God gifted souls in future.....

Love cannot be caged !

Parrots at Mysore Zoo, Mysore, India

PS: Clicked on 27/12/2006

Waqt ne fir pigla diya...

Waqt ne fir pigla diya
woh barf pe kadmo ke nishaan
jis per manzil ka na tha koi makaan
Barf ko bhi na tha hamesha rahena
Usse bhi manzil nayi pahunchna

Aaj fir dekho yeh barf padi hai
Jesse keh rahi ho
Aj bikhra hai maine naya canvas
karo tum ik nayi painting
Ya likho tum ik nayi ghazal
Per dekho yuhin safed na rahene dena
Karna tum unhen zaara rangeen….

Waqt ne fir pigla diya…

(C) kagaz ki kashti 21st Jan 2008

Ehsaas

hawaon ki gustakhiyon me ehsaas uska
pattiyon ki sarsahaat me aahat uski
aasmaan me toote taare me bayaan uska
aankh mundh dekho to jaadu uska
jisse dundh rahi kahin dur mai
paas hai, pyar dil me uska...


(c) kagaz ki kashti

You don’t need expensive toys to give you happiness…

The National Science week which ended recently proved this. On the grand opening of this week celebration & to welcome APJ Abdul Kalam for its inauguration, I was present along with a curiosity filled child of age six.
The narration of my past undoubtedly must have increased her curio. These stories included my encounter with APJ Abdul Kalam during my training days when he used to visit our training school hostel and my photographs with him.
On the 11th evening we stood there, to have the glimpse when his convoy would stop for the welcome. Plenty of school children from all over India were performing the cultural programs to welcome him. The main road of my colony was adorned up with his large life size photographs, the children on horse back giving him a salute. The traditional music been played in the background to make the atmosphere more pleasant on this occasion.
The curiosity soon turning into smile of appreciation on the face of this six year tot which was the highlight of the whole show for me. And prompt was the reason, “I want to be APJ Abdul Kalam…”

Many exhibition stalls that put displays from all over India’s scientific & research developments, displayed advanced development and products and the one that stood out for me was the display of “Bhabhatron”, made by my division & recently been commissioned & dedicated to the nation. The various Indian schools were not far behind in displaying their scientific activities and development.
Among these highly advanced technology display stood one out of them was the Yusuf Meharally Khadi & Village gram udyog stall. This stall was not only displaying its achievements but also was showing how things could be made.
The pottery was the one that attracted us. The small curious and creative hands took on the wheels, and no wonder that this first attempt was not bad, infact it was amazing! The more amazing was the smile and happiness associated with the every shape that this clay was turning into. What was even more wonderful that this happiness that was more than when her plays were with the Barbies dolls. How can this earth replace that wonder??? Really… mitti me kuch aur hi khoshboo hai….!!!
Finally a small pot was made. With those muddy hands she did not shy to carry it all along the various stalls showing her master piece to everyone and carry it on her hands back then home. The nonstop smile & the happiness as if she was flying in the air with wings of clouds…. I can never forget that moment in all my life.
I cannot stop thinking; that it does not take costly thing to give you happiness…. It can be the most unrecognizable thing which we can ever imagine…..
Two day later when I returned home, there was even more surprise in store for me. That small pot had been more beautiful than I could imagine, with 3 flowers blossoming inside it.
And I smiled finally………….. with happiness!!

Faryaad

yaadon ki sheyahi se likha hai jo khat

padhna usse tum

masoomiyat ki kalam se bekhre usme jo moti

sawarna usse tum

likhon mai...

sawan ki bel se bandha hai mene jo jhula

bethna us par tum

woh bageeche ki himmat se bana hai jo phool

seench na usse tum

meri badi ki khaan se nikla hai jo heera

tarashna usse tum

sannate ki rahon me bhatka hai jo dil

raah dikhana usse tum

dard ki aagosh me simta hai jo man

marham dena usse tum

madhosi ki alam me toote hain jo khowaab

bhula dena unhe tum

chahaton ki nighahon se saunpi hai jo rooh

amar karna usse tum

pyara jawaab fir kasam hai tum jo dena

intezaar na karwana usme tum

(C) kagaz ki kashti

Kahan Tum?

Ishq mai suraj, gagan se
jhoom utha woh laal rang
Tab sochuon.... kahan tum?

sur se papiha, boar mai
jhoom utha woh phool sang
Tab souchuon… kahan tum?

Pani ke moti, pattoun pe
Jhoom utha woh dharti ka kan
Tab souchuon… kahan tum?

Sitaroun ki bindiya, mathe pe
Baj uhti woh chudi khan
Tab souchuon… kahan tum?

Sasoun ki baatein, man me
Jhoom utha woh pagli ka tan
Tab souchuon… kahan tum?

Kagaz ki kashti, maujoun me
Dar utha woh majhi ka man
Tab souchuon… kahan tum?

kahe dil… sang tum….
Haan janu... sang tum....

(c) Kagaz ki kashti, September 2007

My daughter, My Hero

Mujhe yaad hai teri woh pheli muskaan
Chalkaye jisne aankhon se pyar ke jam
Tune hans kar mujhe jesse kaha
Chal kar dekh le bachpan meri raah
Teri masoom aankhon me woh shararat thi
Me pakdon tu lutaye khushiyan aesi dawat thi
Teri nanhi si hatheli me taqdir-e-sikandar
Teri har mehfil khushiyon ki mehfil
Rang gayi meri har shab aur saher
Pyar barsa itna tera har dagar
Girna aur dagmate kadmoun se badna
Hosla khub tera, sach tu mujhse jeeti
Buland ho tu jag me dua meri
Hai tu itni khubsurat MERI BETI!

© Kagaz ki kashti, March 2007

Today the world celebrates the Daughter’s day!
This is my small tribute to all wonderful daughters of the world. Indeed all loving parents would agree with me for having a God’s gift in the form of a loving daughter to them.

To all wonderful daughters,
When she was born, she was such a beautiful babe, with the most strikingly beautiful, deep black eyes ever seen. A lovely black mass of curls flowed around her face. Your Granny, who attended the birth with tears in her eyes, told how much the child reminded her of her own. Holding you in arms and just kept smiling at you, you always smiled back, your big eyes wide open full of love, you were such a beautiful good sweet baby.
How you would love to lie besides or sit near the feet and listen to fables and other children’s stories. But at times you seem happier playing with your doll. You dear little, listened with rapt attention always asking questions and wanting to know more. You are taught and you tell us about beautiful butterflies.
Now watching you as you grow up and become your own person. Looking at you, your laughter, your happiness, your simplicity, your beauty. Expecting someday you would read beautiful books and then discuss your opinions, enlightening our each conversation. Knowing that you will be able to enjoy a life of sensitivity, goodness, accomplishment and love in the world that hopefully is at peace.
Wanting to tell you that each parent is so proud of you and dearly love you,
O’ wonderful Daughters!!

Where's the party tonight?

A beautiful morning, lazily she got up. The routine of the day was to be followed, when a soft voice with a dancing tone said exquisitely, “Where’s the party tonight?”
“Hey!.. but for what?”
She is a darling daughter, Papa was soon to add “Happy Birthday! Dear!”
“Papa!……….so you all remembered” she said smilingly, looking at everyone.
The room cheered in one…” Yes!”
“Come on, celebration to be another year old??…. That’s not fair… no party please! And no ‘Happy Birthday’, she wanted to make her point.
Papa said lovingly,
“’Happy Birthday’ to you means much more
Than just having a happy day, my dear
Within these words lie lots of things,
I never get to say to you
It means I love you first of all,
Then I'm proud of you
And most of all, I guess
It means this day is special for me
As it is for you
God gave me a job of a ‘nappy changer!’
As you would delightfully know!”
She burst into laughter and added, “Oh my loving... Papa! this deserves a celebration for sure, lets have a party tonight!”.
She hugged him and said “Proud of you too, Papa”.
Small fingers on Casio
playing a birthday song,
The cake tasted so sweet
never like before
Everything's been different,
All the day long
Lovely things have happened
Nothing has gone wrong
Nobody forgot the party
Everyone has smiled
Isn't it delicious
To be a birthday child?

Relationships- With love

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a God send and they are. They are therefore the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Some times they die. Some times they walk away. Some times they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life,whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

zindagi me koi kabhi aye na rabba....

aye jo koi to phir jaye na rabba....

dene ho gar muje bad me ansuu

to pehle koi hasaye na rabba..

Happy Birthday sweet angel...!

I am sorry cutie pie…. This year too I am not with you on your Birthday…. But remember you are my wonderful friend who is in my heart now and always. You are a darling… sonu…. Chandu…. Raja… for all! You are wished thousands of blessings & happiness this day & all throughout the year.
I hope this wish says all that I want to say…. I want for you the stars....! and the moon...! and a new success with each new day. I wish that all your dreams come true and a sweet fragrance scents your way….!
Have a very Happy Birthday!!

I wouldn’t be there with you, but remember your birthday "computooo" would be smiling for me for you!! Make us proud dear!
And ofcourse Spiderman CD is on its way……promise..! :-)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

I'm with you

Last evening she was waiting for an engineer to come & fix up her new computer... called him at 5.00pm and he informed he would be there anytime between 7 and 7.30pm...... she called him again at 8.30pm and he gave the same reason abhi aata houn....

It looked the hours were being longer then ever...... oh! God she can't wait any longer for anyone anymore...... with that thought picked up a phone to inform him its better that they meet tomorrow...... but then the ring said it all........ Madam... aj engineer nahin aa sakta... kal bhejnounga pakka........ with a deep sigh she said Oh! its okay... tell him to be early tomorrow...please... that please was so difficult...

The room looked deserted.... she picked up the phone & went out in the corridor watching the hill turning barren with the heat...... few months before she could see waterfalls making huge sound in it... the lash green hill looked so beautiful then...

Anousha baby! kaisi ho?? She asked to this 5 months old neighbor on her mother's shoulder....took her in her arms...Anousha watched her face as she talked to her mother... she giggled as she tickled her....she laughed as she rubbed her nose against hers...clinched to her & did not wanted to go back...

She was back inside her house figuring her life again….There was a time when such small incidences never upset her…There was a time when she could wait with patience for anyone and for him endlessly... there was a time when an absence of his phone call seemed missed something badly that day…she wanted to talk to him.. tell him how much she love him.. There was a time she knew this was so easy…
There was a time when she wanted him to know that his home & his children are her only dreams of life… wanted him to know home would be so beautiful with him… and to know she is waiting for him to take her home…..

There was a time when she always wanted to hear him say "I'm with you"...

Tears filled her eyes… just then somewhere a song played….. the words that reflected just her heart…..

Want somebody come take me home
It’s a damn cold night
I thought that you’d be here by now

Is anyone here I know?
Cause nothing going right
I’m looking for a place
I’m searching for a face
There something’s I miss
And no one likes to be alone
There’s nothing but the pain
No faithfulness on the ground
Trying figure out this life
I’m listening but there’s no sound
Won’t you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I’m standing on the bridge
Is’nt anyone trying to find me?

I don’t know who you are, but
I’m waiting in the dark
I don’t know who you are, but
I’m with you

There are some songs that by coincidence just seems and meant to be written only for us.... and are flashed just at a right time...

Song: Avril lavigne, Album “let go”

Would "U" Die For The One You LOVE?

I love you, I mean it.

I need you, I'm being true.

My love never went away.

My emotions real no fake.

Where did your love go?

Where did it all go wrong?

Would you cry,

If you saw me crying?

.

Would you run,

And never look back?

.

Now would you die,

For the one you love?

.

Most will say "I will........"

But few will die......

Former called WISE and later a COWARD.........

Whose's feelings and love are true?????

Bano

Clad in a maroon saree she sat on floor having nothing to say. The face was humble and it looked that she belonged to a decent family.
“Yeh Bano hai, memsaab, Kaam chahiye isko”, the woman who accompanied her said. She has brought Bano to my aunt’s place to fetch some job for her livelihood.
“Yeh kahan raheti hai?”
“Pata nahin, yeh mujhe raste me milli. Iska koi nahin hai, isko ap apne ghar rakkho”.

My aunt felt helpless, she already had a domestic help. She called my mother, if she needed her & can provide her a shelter at her home. My mother who is blessed with a generous heart can never say no to a needy.

She took Bano home.

Bano, was ready to work but did not remember how to do those jobs.

“Bano tum ko roti pakana ata hai?”
“Roti? pakaoungi”
“Accha chaye bana kar dikhao”
“Memsahab mere saruraal me sirf doudh ki chaye banti hai, bahut sari gaayein hain…”
“Accha……. Tumhara sasurral kahan hai”, enquired lovingly.
“??????????”, she had no answer.
“Ghar kahan hai tumhara?”
“Yaad nahin…..”, she walked slowly & sat on a corner, with empty look.

It was about a week now Bano could not recall where she belonged to. She was loosing memory slowly. At times she could recall few things but could not convey exactly.

She now seems to be lost in herself. She started eating food less. We took her to the doctor, who prescribed few medicines. Bano was loosing most of her memory, she could not even locate where the toilet was. Started using the corners of the courtyard.

We made desperate attempts to talk to her to find out her home address so that she could be sent to her loved one. Now it was obvious that due to her memory loss she had forgotten her way home. But all our attempts were in vain.

We decided to take her to old aged home. The administration was strictly ‘no’ for it, giving an excuse that they have a space of 40 beds & they have accommodated 100 inmates, they cannot help us. They are sorry.

We took her to another women’s shelter. They had another excuse to refuse. They said that they can only accept her if she is brought by the police. So they requested us to hand her to the police. This was out of question. We could never do that, handing a helpless, innocent woman to police. We had no clue to your situation, except to return back home.

We fed her with hand, pat her back, stroke her hair & lovingly asked one day, “Do you want to go home Bano?”
She said “Haan... Gulbarga…..”
Finally, finally she knew where she belonged to!!

Next day we took her to the railway station. Bought her ticket to Gulbarga. Gave her some money and a note of our address and phone number, handed a letter addressing to whom so ever concerned, writing details about her and asking us to contact incase help needed for her. We informed the co-passengers about her, gave them some money & asked them to help her on her way back to her home. They willingly agreed.
We called the Gulbarga railway station master & informed him about her coming, gave the seat number and the bogie details and prayed that she reach home safely.

We were sleeping so deeply maybe with so much of stress that we were feeling for her that we could not even hear a long ring of the telephone early morning.
My mother woke us. She was having a bright smile on her face, she was feeling so happy & a smile of victory was evident from her speech.

We couldn’t believe what she informed after that…….

“Bano ke bhai ka phone tha, bahut bahut shukriya ada kar raha tha hum logon ka, Bano khairiyat se ghar pahunch gayi”

“Kah raha tha Bano aath (8) mahine baad ghar ayee hai………..” We could see a tear just to fall from my mother’s eyes.

We all hugged her for her victory!

Bubbles of LOVE........

BUBBLES OF LOVE

She sat on her bed, reasoning why her life was at a standstill. One letter shattered her wonderful dream. Holding it she sat convinced she had no love in her life. Maybe she is not wanted by anyone in this world; tears rolling down her cheeks.

Her thoughts flash backed every second of her life contemplating things that she could have done & that she did not. Where was she wrong? Someone she begged gave her that answer….

Having a grave look on her face she was starring at the phone, that flashed a call from home. Picking she cried aloud “Mamma why this happened to me? I do not wish to live”.
A sober voice at the other end spoke with love & care, “No my child, have faith in God, HE does things with purpose”.
“I am shattered, Mamma, shattered completely”.
“Go out somewhere for a change, you will see things differently & would feel good. Do not overlook the small things that God has given you, treasure them, they would give you happiness & love…. Happiness will return to you definitely, my child ….” her mother lend a precious advice.

CHANGE? Change for whom and for what? Only to get convinced that love is not destined? Thoughts like these racking her mind. There was so much of turmoil inside her, she could hardly think of anything else in her life at this moment.

A waitlisted ticket was enough to give her another whack. Later in day she thought no matter what she needs to run away from this city, run away from the situation where destiny had put her today. She boarded the train to Bangalore. Her friend’s family was there to welcome her at the station. She put a hard effort to hide her gloomy look with a small smile and greeted them. The generous friend made everything comfortable for her stay at their home.

There was a sense of celebration at their home on her arrival; the air was filled with joy. Their little son was playing with the little girl that accompanied her along. The happy faces all around her forced her to smile.

Her friend convinced her that her stay at Bangalore would be a memorable one for all. Bangalore a city of gardens, hence Lalbaug was their first destination in a long list of places to be visited.

She was enthralled by the crowd there. The rows of pretty flowers, the fountain, the beautiful trees, the happy faces all around her made it a wonderful sight.

She was slowly getting charged, opening her senses to smile and trying to overcome her sadness. They bought ice-cream with fruit salad, wafer, chocolates and enjoyed. She clicked the crowd, the huge shed at the centre of the garden which looked beautiful, the pretty bed of roses and daises, the solitude lake at the end and the man blowing soap bubbles to attract kids at centre.

They walked around for a while & sat down on a lush green grass patch, talked and laughed. Their kids ran away to catch soap bubbles that the man was blowing far away. Her friend followed them to take care. She was left alone and now was slowly sinking into her old mood. She felt extremely alone. Why was she alone when everybody was smiling and laughing around her? She was in silent thoughts.

The kids were now running and chasing the soap bubbles. They returned to her with a box of soap liquid and started blowing soap bubbles around her. She observed this little girl, she looked naughty than ever, her face was angelic and she was smiling continuously. Sometimes she hopped around to catch the bubbles, blew them and run to hold them back on her blower than trying to blow another bigger bubble. Sometimes she blows them close to the little boy who was trying to catch them. She started jumping to catch them, at times higher than her friend and sometimes teased him with the balloons she had. This energetic little girl made her smile again.

She clicked the little girl’s picture, every pose she could manage to take. She waited for the right moment. The little girl noticed her efforts to take the picture and started running around her. Happy to have her attention on her she came back posing for the next photo. The little girl was now amazed with the amount of attention she was receiving. Posing and running back to her to see the photo captured in the LCD screen of the camera.

It was a wonderful sight. All her ruminations stopped, she was now laughing with an unknown joy at this little girl. The girl looked beautiful with her black hair, eager black eyes and a sweet, shy smile. As she composed the shot, she could not help laughing. The girl was adjusting her hair, giving a perfect picture, attempting like an already aspiring model!

The little boy also joined. They played around her and her camera. The girl started using the camera and managed to take few shots. Now it was time to leave. To her surprise inside she was feeling very happy and delighted.

As they were leaving, the little girl came running to hold her hand.

She asked, “Would you be my friend?”

A simple question. But one of the greatest moment of her life. She made a new friend.

She smiled and said, “Yes, my friend!”

They returned back to their city in few days. She much content to found a new friend in this trip and more with the thought that she is loved by someone in this world and someone who needed her so much in life.

The little girl loves to talk to her new found friend. Shares her small everyday stories, hugs her, kiss her and plays around together.

A month later she developed the film. The photos were one of the best of her collection. She showed them to her little friend. The little friend was impressed and overjoyed. She jumped to kiss her, hugged her & thanked her. Smiled and started her endless conversation with her, till she ordered her to stop and sleep.

She lay besides her looking at the angelic friend, who had suddenly changed her life and brought so much love. Lazily lying she thought if she would have observed this earlier, like she does now, she would be rejoicing over her life, long before.

Nature presents a variety of creations to us. But we hardly observe them. They give us great joy; fill us with tremendous hope, even if they come for short lived or as a smallest creation in our life.

She now rejoices over the fact that BUBBLES OF LOVE are destined to her!